Handling Punishments

dinodaddy:

I have a lot of call center experience, with a lot of that coming in some managerial capacity. While a great deal of management is scheduling, paperwork, reports based on the schedules and paperwork, and paperwork based on the reports and the scheduling, you do occasionally need to deal with disciplinary matters. One instance in particular comes to mind.

A very tenured agent had a particularly difficult call. The customer had a very complicated issue, and they were being extremely verbally abusive. The agent was having a very bad day to begin with, and after a few minutes of being berated, the agent stood, shouted, “You can NOT talk to me like that!” and threw her headset down before storming off the call floor.

This was absolutely NOT okay. Not only was she not allowed to speak to the customer that way, but her behavior was disruptive to the agents seated around her. This was something that had to be dealt with, but my first priority was to make sure that she was okay. Everything else could be dealt with afterwards.

When I found her, she was sitting outside, head down, sobbing into her arms. I sat with her until she was ready to talk without saying a word. When she was able to speak, she told me about her husband’s health problems, her daughter’s boyfriend drama, and about the abusive caller that sent her over the edge. I listened to it all without comment until she was finished, and then expressed my sympathy for her situation. I was in a position to be able to send her home for the remainder of the day so she could relax.

The next day, I pulled her into a conference room with my manager and an HR representative. The first thing we did was to review her past performance, including attendance. We talked about her past successes and the progress she’s made as an agent. Finally, we discussed the incident.

We allowed her to tell her side of the story completely and without interruption. We played the call, so that everyone could hear exactly what transpired. At the end, we decided to place her on a final written notice, knowing that this was such a rare occurrence that it would probably fall off without consequence. She went on to have a solid career without further incident.

So, what can we learn from this incident that applies to our D/s life?  

1. People First – Before you address the infraction, talk to your sub.  Make sure everything is okay with them.  Give them a chance to speak their mind and say what’s been going on with them before you even begin to discuss punishments.

2. Time – Sometimes you need to allow time for tempers to cool and emotions to settle.  Do not enter into punishments in anger or when either you or your sub are extremely emotional.

3. Recap – Sometimes when people get punished, they feel like none of their accomplishments and successes matter once they slip up.  If you review everything and celebrate their achievements, you’re acknowledging that they have made progress and that they have achieved things worthy of praise.  After going over their overall record, then you can look at the specific infraction in relation to their track record.

4. Review – Fully discuss any pertinent information related to the infraction.  Look at the evidence, talk about the motivations and what was going on, and why this infraction matters.  Once you have a clear and understood agreement on exactly what transpired, you can consider the best course of action regarding discipline.

5. Administration – Be unapologetic in your administration of the punishment.  There was an infraction that occurred, and you’ve taken ever measure to ensure that you have a full understanding of the incident.  You’ve discussed what happened and taken the time to decide upon a just and fair punishment for what occurred.  The fulfillment of this duty is every bit as necessary as the more fun duties, even if you personally find it distasteful to have to do so.  

6. Redemption – Once the punishment has been handed out, the matter is done.  You both put the matter behind you and move forward, hopefully on a more successful path.  If patterns of violations emerge, you can reference the patterns and address those in future violations, but if there are no recurrences, the matter need not be discussed further.

REMEMBER – It is NEVER okay to punish from a place of anger or to take out your feelings on your submissive.  Your submissive is NOT your punching bag or your scape goat.  They are responsible for their actions, not for your feelings.  Make sure the punishment fits the crime, and make sure that it is a just and fair punishment.  End things with proper aftercare and absolution from their guilt and let the matter be finished.